It seems like yesterday, I can still hear my mother: "know yourself ", followed by, "Deena!" Her once-in-a-while pet name for me, long ago, "Know yourself ! " It was said with passion, and depending on where we were, her octave adjusted. It was usually after shopping, as she placed our newly purchased "treasures" in the car, and maybe the sales person didn't do themselves any favors , by assuming, my mother was anything less than royalty. Any topic really, could trigger the adamant lesson, especially where money, independence or education was concerned. At other times, it was said, to put me in my place! I Want to give a healthy shout-out to all the mother-daughter relationships out there! Respect ! Sometimes it's about a woman, any woman, she believed was disturbed, distressed, or disrespected by a anyone, when witnessed in-person, on television, or otherwise. She felt within her right to offer her opinion, no matter the counter.
I usually wouldn't answer. To be honest, most of the time (yes, she proclaimed this often) it didn't require an answer. However, that phrase, that request, shooot (those who know, can lengthen that "shooot"), because you know...moms don't play, when she really talking! That demand required an acknowledgement, from her daughter. In that acknowledgement, I would say, "I know, mom," with the "know-it-all", but mindfully-respecful, and familiar teenage-surl, in my voice. I look back on those days now, and I wish I did know, because I didn't, not even close. My mother, now, a newly retired R.N., knew why she said those glorious words. Did she think I truly understood them, and did she understand them, truly? I mean, on its face, seems pretty simple, right? To know oneself. You feel like, that's is an easy task. You knowing you. Yeah....no! It actually takes effort, but once the process begins, even the grrowth can seem effortless.
After some life experiences, on my own, of my own, some good, some not so great. I thought to myself, I've got a bone to pick! I have a question, or two, for the "honey-women" and "diamond-women" out out there. Those age-rich women. Goddesses, with experience. Why you ain't say nothin', ya' know, about everything! Then I realized, they said something; there was a message in every movement they made. Some women were subtle, some bold, but there was something. All woman have a lesson to give. A piece of advice, either told or shown, just for me, or all of us. In classic "I Am Woman, " we didn't listen. Well, I didn't., not to all of it. I didn't decipher what should be taken with a grain of salt, and what should be taken as word. I don't believe the advice givers truly had that answer either. They too, are gliding in life experiences mode. They were simply giving you, me, information, to dissect. Taken references from their own triumphs and defeats. They want to "steer" in the "right" direction, (whatever that is) in hopes that things would work out for best.
" They lent of themselves,
In an effort to make
"GREATNESS",
influencing my life
In many ways,
I mean, even the
the tiny things."
It dawned on me, as I was getting dressed one day. Every woman that I know, has played a role in who I am. The strong, beautiful women, who weild their intelligence with pride, to whom I pledge respect to. The new, young, old and wise, all Goddesses, in their own glory. I want to "shout out" my friends and best friends throughout my school days! To my very best friends, I love you, and should keep in better contact with you ~ Angela, Jennifer and Laura, you contributed to my growth, and knowledge of self. To the sisters', mothers', aunties"and cousins' of best friends', you are the sister's I didn't have, "They ain't even know it," Lol! Thank you, my sistahs! Many aspects of my personal style or how I get ready rather, are influenced by cousins and aunts. I would watch and participate in the joy of getting dressed! Busy moments, filled with music, laughter and cussing or fussing, mainly at me, "you takin' fa' evah " my cousins would say. Lol! All love, all family, good times! Lots of clothing and jewelry for every outfit...we like to shop and dress, in our family! Those days and experiences are so long ago. I still practice having a good time, when getting dressed, even if, it's just me!
One of my aunts, Jen, the youngest, her lipstick, keeps its shape from beginning to end, (from what I remember) and you better not touch it! She was also a big influence with hair, she did mine lots. I still try to make the original shape last on my lipstick, but, eh'. My other aunt, Dawn, gave me a ten minute lesson on religion, and life -she spoke clear and concise- that talk has prominence in my life till this day! She doesn't recall the moment. My other aunt, Nell, would shop a variety of flower shops, and always put out fresh beautiful flowers in the foyer of her home and I truly enjoy and indulge in flower shopping because of that experience. My grandmother, our matriarch, "Mama," all called her, rest her soul, she was everything! When ever we went shopping, it was a joy! She had an infectious, hearty laugh, and a great sense of style. Her famous phrase, "Mek we buy it, mek we buy it nuh!" Was a call to action, humorously. A sturdy, light- hearted and spicey, Jamaican woman. Mind you, she spoke beautifully, but she always took joy in an opportunity to speak "reggae," that's what I call Jamaican Patois. There were many lessons I picked up from Mama, one lesson truly stuck with me. "Buy what you want!", she would say. Truly clear advice, a different version of, "Know yourself!" Even today, when I am giving any kind of fashion consulting advice; I always say don't leave what you really want behind. You will dream about it and it will keep you up at night! In my mind, I'm saying, "mek we buy it," you want it, so buy it! LOL!
All the women in my life, are very important, family, friends and foes, alike. Their "Goddessism" lights the way! Some are completely unaware of their valuable input, some take pride in offering, others could care less. I am truly grateful for it all, in every package. It is a gift, no matter the wrapping. They lent of themselves, in an effort to make "greatness", influencing my life in many ways, I mean ,even the tiny things. It's different for all women. Like a lot of us, like me, we live on our own experience. "I'm gonna do me", a famous phrase, by young gals, "ok, do you!" If they have the sense the universe blessed them with, (advice volunteers, love ya like cooked food ) they leave you be! Stay out of your way! You are a woman after all, whether in the making or graduating! Hey, let's face it, girls are such know it alls growing up! I should know, I was one, and I get it - Goddesses in the making. All that we will potentially go through, is sewn into our DNA. Choices will be made on your own, no matter what advice or forewarning you've received. Knowing you, creates an ease that aids in the process helping to navigate the decisions, you must make in life.
" To my little eyes,
she could do no wrong .
She was everything,
and could do
anything! "
On a beautiful, spring, late-spring afternoon, when I was a little girl (around 8 yrs of age) my mother picked me up, along with my younger brother from school, in the middle of the day. Without explanation, she carefully buckled in all three of us, me and my homies, love them! My youngest brother was already in the car holding space. Now, carefully seated in her compact, white and silver, Chevy, Caprice, off we set. With not a clue as to what, or where we going to, we were thrilled, even the youngest of us. Mom, jovial, fun-loving, religious and generous, often took part of our childhood fun-just-because.
We soon arrived at the beach! Yes, the beach, in the middle of the week, on a school day! Even for growing up in Miami, that's awesome! We jumped into the just-right Florida beach water with all of our clothes on ( remember, school day) and frolicked all the rest of the day in the Florida sun, till sunset, without a care in the world. It was on that day, I first remembered seeing my mother float in the water. I thought she was the coolest! She was confident, and brave, in my view. My mother, a professional woman, was like a child. She took such pleasure in her easily performed feat, skillfully holding her nose and easily lying backwards in the water. My mother has never been considered a skinny woman, or slender for that matter, but in these moments, she was light as air. I took pleasure in how she would lay perfectly still, like magic, on the water, and equal pleasure in the moments she would emerge from the water, holding her nose with one hand, and wiping her hair out of her eyes with the other. She was amazing! To my little eyes, she could do no wrong. She was everything, and could do anything!
I picked up a bit of bravery, and a few life lessons on that "field trip." Still don't know what got into my mother that day. I did learn that I love spontaneity, one of my personal "spices of life"! I also figured just about anything is possible. Life is for learning, gathering what makes you feel good. When you know yourself, you are at full, natural potential. Whatever it is you choose to be, or do. You are the ruler, for how you live. How you want to love, and be loved! Full, Goddess-given potential! Say it, hear it, believe it, be it! You have not a choice in the matter. You can only be you. No worries of added and subtracted enhancements, still you! So learn you! Happiness awaits!
There is quite a bit of value in that. Knowledge of oneself, knowledge of you, I repeat this because most people really don't get those words. It is never to early or to late! A great task for all ages! Meditation, prayer and quiet-time are great aids at your convenience. You don't have to include anyone or anything else, unless you want to. YOU are the master of you, say it loud, BOUSE!!! Try not to follow the crowd. Individualism is a glorious way to live your life. Throughout life, we have a myriad of experiences. We meet a variety of people, with many ways of life. We visit many different places. Even if your world, for now, is a local one, get out and explore, Goddess, the world awaits. There is always something knew to find out about you. I am still figuring this out, as I should. From all my experiences so far, I learned; the better you know you, the better the universe is to you.
Yeah, you can quote me! LOL!